Wednesday, December 14

How to become a politician in 10 steps

1. Master the podium. Work on your ability to deliver heartfelt speeches.
2. Lie to your peers. Unfortunately this rule is interdependent with mastering the podium.
3. Blow up historical blunders of your opposition.
4. Strength in numbers. Seek power from popular students to help justify your actions.
5. Try not to answer questions directly, instead talk in circles for a while.
6. Keep an open mind. Try not to take a definitive stance on any political issue.
7. Don’t forget about the voters. Always care about average blue-collar related issues, even if you are a self-centred spoiled imbecile.
8. Go to law school. Learn how to yell at people in stuffy settings. Gain good practice and training before your terms in the House.
9. Congratulations, you’re ready to become a fat cat! With over 20 years of practicing law, you are primed to run for a representative position in your riding.
10. Pick a political party, if federal politics suits your fancy.
If you are interested in joining the ruling party, remember to apply sunscreen to your neck when you go outside for extended periods of time.
Are you interested in a future with the opposition? Apply for the director of finance position or school treasurer and begin raising money from school events.

30 Tips to Help You Get Your Swagger Back


We've all been through it at some point. I'm talking about that rut, funk, spell or period in our lives where we feel like we've lost our swagger. There are many reasons why this loss in confidence occurs (I'll let you fill in the blanks), but when it happens to you, it sucks major.

Here are 30 tips to get you out of the doldrums and help you get your swagger back.

1. Improve your diet.
Like the old adage says, “You are, what you eat.” Take out Rock star, add in water. Take out beef, add in fish or chicken. Take out the burgers, add in vitamins. Take out fries, add in boiled. You get the point.
2. Get more sleep.
Not only will it make you feel more refreshed, but it helps in so many other countless ways. Here's a great article about the importance of sleep.
3. Get to the dentist. 
Now is not the time to reschedule that appointment. Get your teeth cleaned, crowns fixed, bridges built, and root canals dug. You'll be smiling before you know it.
4. Get a haircut.
Okay there is nothing wrong with those Super cut 1,000 Tshs specials, but it just won't do this time. I'm not saying go to one of those foofy salons where they serve you wine and make you take off your shirt, but just go find a reputable shop and get a nice cut even if it cost you 10,000 Tshs.
5. Update your wardrobe.
I'm definitely not recommending you go splurge on ridiculous items, but sometimes when you look good, you just tend to feel good. Treat yourself to a new outfit, but remember to stick to buying pieces that you will always have a need for like a suit for work or wool sweater and leave the trendy new stuff for the fashionistas.
6. Get a new pair of glasses. 
Update your look with a fresh or modern pair of specs. If you're tired of wearing glasses then try contact lenses.
7. Shine your shoes.
Don't use the fake liquid shine stuff. Use real shoe polish, some water and a lot of elbow grease. If you can't see your reflection on the shoe when you're done, then get them shined by a professional.
8. Buy new cologne.
The goal here is not to smell like teen spirit. Sample more than a few scents and ask the sales person for their recommendation.
9. Bring your suits to the tailor.
It might cost you a few shillings, but there is simply no substitute for well-fitting clothes (even better if you can swing a made-to-measure suit).
10. Wear your favorite underwear.
If you don't have one, get one. If you can't decide between boxers or briefs, go with boxer briefs.
11. Wash your car.
If you have one but if you don't at least choose a clean taxi. Theres something about arriving in style that never seems to get old.
12. Get a new watch.
It's time to retire that Fossil of a watch and get a true timepiece. Skip the brands that also make clothes and opt for those that only specialize in making watches exclusively.
13. Stop comparing yourself to others.
This is easy to say and difficult to do, but it is essential in getting your swagger back.

Get Your Shit Together  
14. Align your priorities.
Take a piece of scratch paper out and identify what is important to you in your life right now. Make sure you put yourself as #1.
15. Set goals.
You don't have to wait for the new year to set goals. Set them now.
16. Take care of business at work.
You spend roughly 60% of your waking life there so make sure you're doing what you need to be successful. If you don't like your current job, then quit and find a new one.
17. Organize your finances.
If you need more assistance, make an appointment to meet with a financial adviser.
18. Drop bad habits and develop good ones.
They say it only takes 9 days to form a habit. Do you really need another reason to stop biting your nails already? Start today.
19. Cut dead weight.
et go of anything and everything that is weighing you down. This includes extra pounds, negative friends and the subscription to that magazine you never read.

Be More Active
20. Change your latitude.
Take a trip to somewhere you've never been. Traveling often opens up our eyes and changes our perspective even better if you can afford to go international.
21. Hit the gym.
Not a must but if you can exercising makes you look and feel better.
22. Start running and walking around.
Running or walking doesn't require a gym and is also one of the best ways to get in shape.
23. Take up a new hobby.
Even if you're already a skilled football player, you can still always learn a few new tricks.
24. Join a public sports league.
If you have time. They have all sorts of different leagues with sports ranging from table tennis to long tennis, from golf to basketball. This is a great way to get in shape and meet new people at the same time.
25. Learn a new language.
This is a great way to flex your brain and to challenge yourself. If you can join an open college its better.

Get Inspired  
26. Get nostalgic.
Get out your old football highlight reel, dust off your trophies, and pull out pictures of your hot ex-girlfriends. We're not saying to live in the past, but it's always good to give yourself some credit and remind yourself that you were once a bad ass.
27. Listen to music that gets you going.
Your choice.
28. Watch your favorite movies of all time.
Grab some popcorn and watch that go-to movie that always seems to make you feel alive.
29. Bring your friends close and family even closer.
When your confidence is low, there's nothing like allowing your biggest supporters to give you that much needed pep talk to lift your spirits.
30. Rekindle some of those long dormant dreams. 
It's never too late to go after your dreams.

You may find that these won't all work for you, but that's okay. The key ingredient here is to take action and to truly believe in yourself. If you have any tips you'd like to share please leave a comment so others can benefit from them.

Are we still living on a wonderful world?

Remember this song? WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD by Luis Armstrong.
I see trees of green, red roses too I see them bloom for me and you And I think to myself what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I think to myself what a wonderful world. The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do They're really saying I love you. I hear babies crying, I watch them grow They'll learn much more than I'll never know And I think to myself what a wonderful world Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world. My question is are we still living on a wonderful world or the wonder is taken out of it and we only remain with the world?