Tuesday, December 13
SPIKA WA BUNGE AUKIMBIA MJADALA WA POSHO
ALIALIKWA CHANNEL TEN, AWAAMBIA KAMA NI KUHUSU POSHO 'SIJI', WENGI WAPONDA, CAG KUFANYA UCHUNGUZI
Waandishi wetu
SAKATA la posho za wabunge limezidi kuingia katika sura mpya, baada ya Spika wa Bunge, Anne Makinda, kukwepa mdahalo uliohusu mada hiyo, huku Katibu wake, Dk Thomas Kashilillah, akitua mzigo kwa kutotaka ahusishwe tena kwenye mjadala huo.Wakati viongozi hao wa juu wa Bunge wakikwepa kuzungumzia suala hilo, wasomi, wanaharakati na viongozi wa dini kutoka kona mbalimbali za nchi, wamekuja juu wakipinga nyongeza hiyo.
Makinda akacha mdahalo
Jana, Makinda alikwepa kipindi cha luninga cha Channel Ten cha Asubuhi Njema ambacho mada yake ilikuwa kuzungumzia nyongeza ya posho za wabunge akisema "iwapo mjadala wenu ni kuhusu posho, sitashiriki kipindi hicho."
Mtangazaji wa kipindi hicho, David Ramadhan alisema awali, aliwasiliana na Spika Makinda kwamba angekuwa mgeni katika kipindi hicho, lakini dakika za mwisho, aligeuka na kusema asingeweza kushiriki mjadala huo iwapo mada ni nyongeza ya posho za wabunge.
“Jamani ilikuwa tuwe na Spika wa Bunge la Jamhuri ya Muungano wa Tanzania, Anne Makinda ambaye hata hivyo amesema hataweza kushiriki kipindi iwapo mjadala wenyewe ni huo unaohusiana na ongezeko la posho za wabunge,”alisema mtangazaji huyo akiwajulisha watazamaji.
Kutokana na hali hiyo, Ramadhani aliwasiliana na Katibu wa Itikadi na Uenezi wa CCM, Nape Nnauye ili atoe ufafanuzi kuhusu msimamo wa CCM juu ya nyongeza hiyo ya posho. Nape alikazia msimamo wa chama hicho kuwa wanapinga ongezeko hilo kwa nguvu zote.
Jitihada za gazeti hili kumpata Spika Makinda jana ili azungumzia msimamo wake huo wa kukimbia mjadala wa posho hazikuzaa matunda kutokana na simu yake ya mkononi mara kadhaa kuita bila kupokelewa na wakati mwingine, inakatwa.Taarifa zilizopatikana baadaye ofisini kwake zilieleza kuwa muda mwingi jana, Spika Makinda alikuwa na kikao.
Dk Kashililah
Kwa upande wake, Dk Kashililah jana aliamua kutua mzigo baada ya kukataa kuhusishwa tena na mjadala wa posho za wabunge unaoendelea nchini.
Dk Kashililah aliliambia gazeti hili kuwa kauli ya CCM kutaka nyongeza ya posho iondolewa kwa sababu maisha magumu, haimuhusu na yeye hana jipya kwenye mjadala huo.
“Hayo ya CCM hayanihusu… Unanionea tu ndugu yangu,” alisema Dk Kashililah alipotakiwa kutoa msimamo wake kuhusu ushauri wa CCM uliotolewa juzi na Nape.
Kuhusu mgongano wa kauli yake na ile ya Spika Makinda kuhusu posho za wabunge, Dk Kashililah alisema" “Wewe ndio unasema (tulitofautiana).”
Wasomi, viongozi dini, wanaharakati
Wakati huo huo wasomi nchini wamesema suala la ongezeko la posho hizo kwa wabunge halijazingatia haki na usawa katika jamii hali itakayoweza kusababisha madhara makubwa katika ustawi wa uchumi na maendeleo ya jamii.
Wakizungumza kwa nyakati tofauti jana, wasomi hao walisema wabunge waliopitisha kupanda kwa malipo ya posho zao katika vikao vyao, hawana machungu na maendeleo ya taifa, kwani wanachukua pesa nyingi kuliko wafanyakazi wa idara nyingine.
Mhadhiri Mwandamizi wa Chuo Kikuu cha Dar es salaam, (UDSM) Dk Benson Bana, alisema wabunge wote wanaotaka pesa zipande, hawana budi kuachia madaraka kwani wanalinyonya taifa.
Alisema wabunge wanatakiwa kufahamu kwamba Serikali ni masikini hivyo wanavyopitisha suala la kupata posho kubwa ni sawa na kuitia nchi umasikini.
“Hawa jamaa mimi siwaelewi kabisa unajua kitendo cha kupandishiwa posho kutoka Sh70,000 mpaka Sh200,000 ni sawa na kulitia umaskini taifa letu,”alisema Bana.
Dk Honest Ngowi wa Chuo Kikuu cha Mzumbe alisema sababu iliyotolewa kwamba posho hizo zimepanda kutokana na hali ngumu ya maisha, haina mashiko kwani ugumu wa maisha hauko mkoani Dodoma pekee.
“Kitendo cha kujiongezea posho kwa wabunge hao kimekuja baada ya kikundi cha watu wachache ambao ni watunga sera na sheria kukaa na kujadili namna ya kujipatia ahueni ya maisha na kuamua kujipandishia hizo posho bila kuangalia mwananchi wa kawaida ambaye ni mlipa kodi atakuwa anaishi katika hali gani,”alisema Dk Ngowi.
Profesa Robert Mabele wa Chuo Kikuu cha Dar e s Salaam, alisema kupanda kwa posho hizo kunamkandamiza mwananchi wa kawaida akiwamo mwalimu.
Alisema Bunge linatakiwa kuhakikisha kwamba mapato ya Mtanzania yanatakiwa kuwa na uwiano sawa na haya mabadikilo yanatakiwa kufanyika kwa watu wote sio kwa wabunge tu.Mhadhiri mwingine wa UDSM, Bashiru Ally alisema kupanda kwa posho za wabunge ni kukomaza utabaka kati ya walionacho na wasio nacho.
Msimamo wa Tucta
Akizungumzia suala hilo, Katibu wa Shirikisho la Vyama vya Wafanyakazi mkoa wa Mwanza (Tucta), Ramadhani Mwenda aliishutumu ofisi ya Bunge kwa kile alichoeleza kuwa imeonyesha dharau kwa Rais kwa kuongeza posho hizo bila idhini yake.
Alisema dharau ilionyeshwa na ofisi ya Bunge kwa Rais imekiuka misingi na sheria za nchi na kuonyesha kuwa kazi za Rais zinaweza kufanywa na mtu yeyote bila hata idhini yake.Mwenda alitoa kauli hiyo jana alipokuwa akizungumza na waandishi wa habari ofisini kwake.
Mkuu wa kitivo cha sheria kutoka Chuo Kikuu cha Makumira,Elfuraha Laltaika alipinga vikali ongezeko hilo kwa madai kuwa sababu zilizotolewa na Bunge hazikuwa na tija yoyote.
Laltaika, alisema ongezeko hilo ni kubwa, lakini sababu za kupanda gharama za maisha linawagusa watanzania wote na sio wabunge peke yao huku akisistiza kuwa kitendo hicho ni ubadhirifu mkubwa serikalini usiovumilika.
The Healing Power of Water
The Wonders of water... Amazing! But True! Find out for yourself.
6 glasses of water (1.5 liters). Without spending on medicine, tablets, injections, diagnosis, Doctor fees, etc., just by drinking pure water, the following diseases will be cured. You can never believe before practising.
Diseases cured by Drinking water:
1. Headache
2. Blood Pressure/Hyper Tension
3. Anemia (Blood Shortage)
4. Rheumatism (Pain in joints/muscles)
5. General Paralysis
6. Obesity
7. Arthritis
8. Sinusitis
9. Tachycardia
10. Giddiness
11. Cough (Khansi)
12. Asthma
13. Bronchitis
14. Pulmonary Tuberculosis (T.B.)
15. Meningitis
16. Kidney stones
17. Urogenital disease
18. Hyper-acidity
19. Gastroenteritis
20. Dysentery
21. Rectal Piodapse
22. Constipation (Kabj)
23. Hostorthobics
24. Diabetes (Madhumeh)
25. Eye diseases
26. Ophthalmic Haemorrage & Ophthalmia (reddish eye)
27. Irregular Menstruation
28. Leukemia (white Blood)
29. Uterine cancer
30. Breast cancer
31. Laryngitis
How to do this water therapy?
1. Early morning after you get up from bed (without even brushing your teeth) drink 1.50 liters of water i.e., 5 to 6 glasses. Better to premeasure 1.50 liters of water. Let us all know that our ancestors termed this therapy as "Usha Paana Chikitsa". You may wash your face thereafter.
2. Here it is very essential to note that nothing else, neither drinks nor solid food of any sort should be taken within 1 hour before and after drinking these 1.50 liters of water.
3. It is also to be strictly observed that no alcoholic drinks should be taken the previous night.
4. If required, boiled and filtered water may be used for this purpose. Is it possible to drink 1.50 liters of water at one time? To begin with, one may find it difficult to drink 1.50 liters of water at one time, but one will get used to it gradually. Initially, while practising you may drink four glasses first and the balance two glasses after a gap of two minutes. Initially you may find the necessity to urinate 2 to 3 times within an hour, but it will become normal after sometime.
By research and experience, the following diseases are observed to be cured with this therapy within the indicated days as below:
Constipation 1 day
Acidity 2 days
Diabetes 7 days
BP & Hypertension 4 weeks
Cancer 4 weeks
Pulmonary TB 3 months.
Note: It is advised that persons suffering from A rthritis or Rheumatism should practise this therapy thrice a day, i.e., morning, midday and night, 1 hours before meals - for one week; and twice a day subsequently till the disease is cured.
How does pure water act?
Consuming ordinary drinking water by the right method purifies the human body. It renders the colon more effective by forming new fresh blood, known in medical terms as Haematopaises. That the mucousal folds of the colon and intestines are activated by this method, is an undisputed fact, just as the theory that the mucousal fold produces new fresh blood. If the colon is cleaned then the nutrients of the food taken several times a day will be absorbed and by the action of the mucousal folds they are turned into fresh blood. The blood is all-important in curing ailments and restoring health, and for this water should be consumed in a regular pattern. We make an earnest request that the above method should be read and practised carefully. Please spread this message to your friends, relatives and neighbour it is a great service to the cause of humanity.
Now that you have read the above and if you wish to follow the plan, make sure you get only clean water.
6 glasses of water (1.5 liters). Without spending on medicine, tablets, injections, diagnosis, Doctor fees, etc., just by drinking pure water, the following diseases will be cured. You can never believe before practising.
Diseases cured by Drinking water:
1. Headache
2. Blood Pressure/Hyper Tension
3. Anemia (Blood Shortage)
4. Rheumatism (Pain in joints/muscles)
5. General Paralysis
6. Obesity
7. Arthritis
8. Sinusitis
9. Tachycardia
10. Giddiness
11. Cough (Khansi)
12. Asthma
13. Bronchitis
14. Pulmonary Tuberculosis (T.B.)
15. Meningitis
16. Kidney stones
17. Urogenital disease
18. Hyper-acidity
19. Gastroenteritis
20. Dysentery
21. Rectal Piodapse
22. Constipation (Kabj)
23. Hostorthobics
24. Diabetes (Madhumeh)
25. Eye diseases
26. Ophthalmic Haemorrage & Ophthalmia (reddish eye)
27. Irregular Menstruation
28. Leukemia (white Blood)
29. Uterine cancer
30. Breast cancer
31. Laryngitis
How to do this water therapy?
1. Early morning after you get up from bed (without even brushing your teeth) drink 1.50 liters of water i.e., 5 to 6 glasses. Better to premeasure 1.50 liters of water. Let us all know that our ancestors termed this therapy as "Usha Paana Chikitsa". You may wash your face thereafter.
2. Here it is very essential to note that nothing else, neither drinks nor solid food of any sort should be taken within 1 hour before and after drinking these 1.50 liters of water.
3. It is also to be strictly observed that no alcoholic drinks should be taken the previous night.
4. If required, boiled and filtered water may be used for this purpose. Is it possible to drink 1.50 liters of water at one time? To begin with, one may find it difficult to drink 1.50 liters of water at one time, but one will get used to it gradually. Initially, while practising you may drink four glasses first and the balance two glasses after a gap of two minutes. Initially you may find the necessity to urinate 2 to 3 times within an hour, but it will become normal after sometime.
By research and experience, the following diseases are observed to be cured with this therapy within the indicated days as below:
Constipation 1 day
Acidity 2 days
Diabetes 7 days
BP & Hypertension 4 weeks
Cancer 4 weeks
Pulmonary TB 3 months.
Note: It is advised that persons suffering from A rthritis or Rheumatism should practise this therapy thrice a day, i.e., morning, midday and night, 1 hours before meals - for one week; and twice a day subsequently till the disease is cured.
How does pure water act?
Consuming ordinary drinking water by the right method purifies the human body. It renders the colon more effective by forming new fresh blood, known in medical terms as Haematopaises. That the mucousal folds of the colon and intestines are activated by this method, is an undisputed fact, just as the theory that the mucousal fold produces new fresh blood. If the colon is cleaned then the nutrients of the food taken several times a day will be absorbed and by the action of the mucousal folds they are turned into fresh blood. The blood is all-important in curing ailments and restoring health, and for this water should be consumed in a regular pattern. We make an earnest request that the above method should be read and practised carefully. Please spread this message to your friends, relatives and neighbour it is a great service to the cause of humanity.
Now that you have read the above and if you wish to follow the plan, make sure you get only clean water.
Small Steps to a Healthy Family Lifestyle
We are bombarded every day with conflicting information about our health. Is it better to eat a low-carb diet or a balanced diet? Should we be physically active three times a week or five times a week? And how can we be expected to follow any of these recommendations when we're always so busy?
It's no wonder that many of us throw up our hands and give up. But if we want to live long and fulfilling lives, it's essential that we learn the real facts about health, nutrition, and physical activity.
Luckily, the real facts are pretty straightforward. All you really need to know about a healthy lifestyle is:
Eat a healthy diet that includes fruits, vegetables, and whole grain products -- and be sure to control portion sizes.
Get physically active at least five times a week, for thirty minutes or more.
Avoid tobacco and illegal drugs altogether. Sounds simple, right? Well, if it were that easy, we'd all be effortlessly fit and healthy.
Today's lifestyle doesn't allow much room for health. And that's where Small Steps comes in. We know that it's impossible for many people to make dramatic lifestyle changes. Instead, we want to help you learn ways that you can change small things about your life and see big results.
Check out these 100 Small Steps to see what you can do to change your family's life.
1. Walk to work.
2. Use fat free milk over whole milk. (As long as your child is at least 2 years old)
3. Do sit-ups in front of the TV.
4. Walk during lunch hour.
5. Drink water before a meal.
6. Eat leaner red meat & poultry.
7. Eat half your dessert.
8. Walk instead of driving whenever you can.
9. Take family walk after dinner.
10. Skate to work instead of driving.
11. Avoid food portions larger than your fist.
12. Mow lawn with push mower. (Remember that the AAP says that children younger than 12 years should not use walk-behind mowers.)
13. Increase the fiber in your diet.
14. Walk to your place of worship instead of driving.
15. Walk kids to school.
16. Get a dog and walk it.
17. Join an exercise group.
18. Drink diet soda. (If your kids must drink soda and are aleady drinking enough milk.)
19. Replace Sunday drive with Sunday walk.
20. Do yard work.
It's no wonder that many of us throw up our hands and give up. But if we want to live long and fulfilling lives, it's essential that we learn the real facts about health, nutrition, and physical activity.
Luckily, the real facts are pretty straightforward. All you really need to know about a healthy lifestyle is:
Eat a healthy diet that includes fruits, vegetables, and whole grain products -- and be sure to control portion sizes.
Get physically active at least five times a week, for thirty minutes or more.
Avoid tobacco and illegal drugs altogether. Sounds simple, right? Well, if it were that easy, we'd all be effortlessly fit and healthy.
Today's lifestyle doesn't allow much room for health. And that's where Small Steps comes in. We know that it's impossible for many people to make dramatic lifestyle changes. Instead, we want to help you learn ways that you can change small things about your life and see big results.
Check out these 100 Small Steps to see what you can do to change your family's life.
1. Walk to work.
2. Use fat free milk over whole milk. (As long as your child is at least 2 years old)
3. Do sit-ups in front of the TV.
4. Walk during lunch hour.
5. Drink water before a meal.
6. Eat leaner red meat & poultry.
7. Eat half your dessert.
8. Walk instead of driving whenever you can.
9. Take family walk after dinner.
10. Skate to work instead of driving.
11. Avoid food portions larger than your fist.
12. Mow lawn with push mower. (Remember that the AAP says that children younger than 12 years should not use walk-behind mowers.)
13. Increase the fiber in your diet.
14. Walk to your place of worship instead of driving.
15. Walk kids to school.
16. Get a dog and walk it.
17. Join an exercise group.
18. Drink diet soda. (If your kids must drink soda and are aleady drinking enough milk.)
19. Replace Sunday drive with Sunday walk.
20. Do yard work.
HOW TO GET A GOOD WIFE
There are times in a person's life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.
Some of the questions that crop up are - a.. What sort of a girl do I marry? b.. Will she adjust in my family? c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times? d.. When should I get married? e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake? .. so on and so forth. I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections. The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage Rule 1 - Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".
Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.
Rule 3 - Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.
Rule 4 -- Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.
Rule 5 - Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.
Rule 7 - Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together". So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don't forget rule no.3 here.
Rule 8 -- Girl's Beauty
A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.
Rule 9 -- Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but don't forget to take their advice. Rule 10 -- Own decision
All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out & you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marry the girl of your choice. How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
a.. Definition phase –
Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.
b.. Lead Generation phase –
Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
c.. Short listing phase –
Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself. 2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope.
3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information. 4. The receiver send similar information.
5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase. A.. Casual interaction phase –
Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 - 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/chat.
B.. Family interaction phase –
Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
C.. The dating phase –
Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.
D.. The D-day phase –
Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue, "Never do anything to others that you don't like for yourself".
Some of the questions that crop up are - a.. What sort of a girl do I marry? b.. Will she adjust in my family? c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times? d.. When should I get married? e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake? .. so on and so forth. I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections. The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage Rule 1 - Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".
Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.
Rule 3 - Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.
Rule 4 -- Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.
Rule 5 - Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.
Rule 7 - Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together". So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don't forget rule no.3 here.
Rule 8 -- Girl's Beauty
A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.
Rule 9 -- Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but don't forget to take their advice. Rule 10 -- Own decision
All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out & you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marry the girl of your choice. How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
a.. Definition phase –
Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.
b.. Lead Generation phase –
Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
c.. Short listing phase –
Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself. 2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope.
3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information. 4. The receiver send similar information.
5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase. A.. Casual interaction phase –
Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 - 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/chat.
B.. Family interaction phase –
Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
C.. The dating phase –
Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.
D.. The D-day phase –
Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue, "Never do anything to others that you don't like for yourself".
How to find a Perfect Husband
A perfect husband is an essential part of life. The secret behind a good marriage is a perfect husband. If you are looking for the qualities of a perfect husband then you are at the right place. Here, we will discuss on how to find a perfect husband.
Potential husbands should have the right attitude
The attitude of a person is very important. Your husband should have the right attitude. You will have to look for a person who is positive and optimistic. Your husband need to get along with you in a positive way. If he doesn’t have the right attitude towards life then living life will get difficult.
Not an arrogant man
Make sure that the man should not be an arrogant man. Marriages will not stand if your man is arrogant. A perfect relationship requires to be made once you are married. So, make sure that you choose a man who is not arrogant. He should be ready to adjust with you.
He should be sensitive
Make sure that your man is sensitive. Life will be full of incidents after marriage. So, note that your man should be sensitive enough. The difficult situation in life has to be dealt by you both. So, you will have to choose a sensitive man in your life.
Husbands must be faithful
The person whom you choose must be faithful and loyal. The relationship of your marriage will stand on trust and honest. Here we cannot forget the old saying which says honesty is the best policy. Loyalty and faithfulness is required in a perfect relationship. So, your husband should be faithful to you.
Qualities of a good husband
Your husband should have the following qualities to be a perfect husband:
Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive
Identify the MAN
It is very important that you identify the man. You both should be on the same page. It is not very to marry a rich man and suffer whole life through. It is important and sensible to marry someone who is your. Now to get a perfect husband you will have to identify the person well. Once you understand that he is made for you, you can be good friends and then finally settle down.
Don’t be indecisive
You might lose out on the best man if you are indecisive. You will have to get hold of the right person. If he is caring and giving you the right respect then you can identify him as the man of your life. He needs to care for you. He will have to give his time to you. The decisions of your life need to be taken with consultation of both. The man will have to be energetic too. Looks, height and economic status are important. But overall he should value your presence in his life.
Remember few things, when you need to find a perfect husband.
Do not chase men.
Enlighten them with your thoughts.
Let him know who you are.
He should love you for the right reasons.
Don’t run after money, the man should be good.
Potential husbands should have the right attitude
The attitude of a person is very important. Your husband should have the right attitude. You will have to look for a person who is positive and optimistic. Your husband need to get along with you in a positive way. If he doesn’t have the right attitude towards life then living life will get difficult.
Not an arrogant man
Make sure that the man should not be an arrogant man. Marriages will not stand if your man is arrogant. A perfect relationship requires to be made once you are married. So, make sure that you choose a man who is not arrogant. He should be ready to adjust with you.
He should be sensitive
Make sure that your man is sensitive. Life will be full of incidents after marriage. So, note that your man should be sensitive enough. The difficult situation in life has to be dealt by you both. So, you will have to choose a sensitive man in your life.
Husbands must be faithful
The person whom you choose must be faithful and loyal. The relationship of your marriage will stand on trust and honest. Here we cannot forget the old saying which says honesty is the best policy. Loyalty and faithfulness is required in a perfect relationship. So, your husband should be faithful to you.
Qualities of a good husband
Your husband should have the following qualities to be a perfect husband:
Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive
Identify the MAN
It is very important that you identify the man. You both should be on the same page. It is not very to marry a rich man and suffer whole life through. It is important and sensible to marry someone who is your. Now to get a perfect husband you will have to identify the person well. Once you understand that he is made for you, you can be good friends and then finally settle down.
Don’t be indecisive
You might lose out on the best man if you are indecisive. You will have to get hold of the right person. If he is caring and giving you the right respect then you can identify him as the man of your life. He needs to care for you. He will have to give his time to you. The decisions of your life need to be taken with consultation of both. The man will have to be energetic too. Looks, height and economic status are important. But overall he should value your presence in his life.
Remember few things, when you need to find a perfect husband.
Do not chase men.
Enlighten them with your thoughts.
Let him know who you are.
He should love you for the right reasons.
Don’t run after money, the man should be good.
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