1. Master the podium. Work on your ability to deliver heartfelt speeches.
2. Lie to your peers. Unfortunately this rule is interdependent with mastering the podium.
3. Blow up historical blunders of your opposition.
4. Strength in numbers. Seek power from popular students to help justify your actions.
5. Try not to answer questions directly, instead talk in circles for a while.
6. Keep an open mind. Try not to take a definitive stance on any political issue.
7. Don’t forget about the voters. Always care about average blue-collar related issues, even if you are a self-centred spoiled imbecile.
8. Go to law school. Learn how to yell at people in stuffy settings. Gain good practice and training before your terms in the House.
9. Congratulations, you’re ready to become a fat cat! With over 20 years of practicing law, you are primed to run for a representative position in your riding.
10. Pick a political party, if federal politics suits your fancy.
If you are interested in joining the ruling party, remember to apply sunscreen to your neck when you go outside for extended periods of time.
Are you interested in a future with the opposition? Apply for the director of finance position or school treasurer and begin raising money from school events.
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